City simply smitten withits manager.

• Author: Williamson, Dianne
• Position: Local

Byline: Dianne Williamson

The city of Worcester has never exactly distinguished itself when promoting its charms in print.

Whether we're coining a vapid city slogan ("Wake up to Worcester!'') or hawking our questionable attractions as a destination city, we typically come off like that insecure dork on Match.com, who women would date only if guaranteed the $46.99 20-ounce prime sirloin at One Eleven Chop House with at least two sides. Even then, Worcester would never be invited in later for a nightcap.

One of my personal favorite documents was the city's dubious marketing plan of 1996, which called for a promotional campaign for an airport that, at the time, had no planes. It also contained this memorably awkward sentence: "Entertainment is one way Worcester likes to relax.'' Ha! As opposed to what? Water boarding?

So it should come as no surprise that the city has once again embarrassed itself while allegedly searching for a new city manager. I say "allegedly'' because no one wants the current manager, Ed Augustus, to step down, as he's "excelled in his commitment to the city,'' according to the latest citizen group begging him to stay beyond his stated departure in October.

It's quite remarkable, really, how much the city adores Augustus and wants him to be the permanent manager. I mean, this guy can't slip behind the wheel of his car without someone jumping from the glove compartment and urging him to stay, and now a group called AWARE has an online petition practically demanding that he remain, or else.

"Ed is a man of great character, morality and integrity,'' the petition reads. "So it is doubtful that he will voluntarily (italics mine) change his previous answer from a 'no' to a 'yes' regarding staying on as City Manager ... However, before it's too late, we must collectively convince him to change his mind ...''

That sounds like a threat, and it's probably only a matter of time before Augustus is forced to file for a restraining order or perhaps remind these citizen groups that no means no, unless they plan to either ply him with cocktails or make him an offer he can't refuse.

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